by theteam 

September 17, 2019

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How to Be Happy Every Day

So, I have what some people consider to be one of the hardest jobs on the planet.

I am a mom. (Applause) (Cheers) Yeah! Yeah!

I am a parent to three very little busy boys who magically think I'm a doctor, a baker, a coach, a chef, a therapist, and have the patience of a saint 24/7.

I truly do my best, and some days are definitely better than others.

Especially that part about being patient as a saint.

I want what most parents want for my kids.

I want them to have a happy childhood.

I want them to be free to play, build friendships…grow to be kind, compassionate, happy adults.

But there seems to be one small challenge.

The World Happiness Report states at any one time over 220 million children, and one billion adults, suffer from anxiety, depression, and conduct disorders.

Not exactly a pretty picture of happy people on a happy planet now is it?

Unfortunately, as adults, whether you are a parent or not, this is what our children are learning from us.

They see how busy we are every day.

They feel our stress and watch us struggle to find our own happiness.

So, how do we go from anxiety and depression to happy?

Some good news! The World Happiness Report also states the best predictor as to whether a child becomes a satisfied adult is through their emotional health in childhood.

So, if I have this right, it should be easy.

Happy children, happy adults, happy planet. Yes? (Laughter)

Well, this is the exact lesson I learned from my dad.

When I was a little girl growing up in the big city of London, Ontario, every Christmas morning my dad would take my three sisters and I to his office.

You see, my dad was a doctor, and his office…a hospital.

It was our job to stand around the beds of his sick patients sing Christmas carols.

We started with the same song every time. And my dad, he would lead the singing.

Now, this is probably a TEDx first, so join me if you know it. (Sings)

We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year! (Stop singing) (Cheers) (Applause)

You guys are amazing! I’m signing you all up for this year. (Laughter)

And look at your smiles.

We did this every Christmas morning for years.

Those patients, they sing along with us, just like you did.

Their smiles…their smiles would light up their hospital rooms.

This is what I learned from our singing.

Giving back to those patients, it made them happy, and it made me happy.

And, we’ve all heard that giving makes you happy and it’s better to give than to receive.

But have you actually thought of why?

Well, researchers from all over the world have been studying the science and psychology of giving.

They’ve discovered that our brains and our bodies are actually hardwired for giving.

When we give, our endorphins kick in giving us this natural high feeling.

They’ve actually called it the helper’s high.

Our oxygen levels rise.

This would be our love hormone.

As for those of you who have been looking for the fountain of youth, it’s our body’s natural anti-aging remedy.

And that feeling I got when I volunteered with my dad, that’s serotonin…our body’s happy transmitter.

But here’s the icing on the cake.

Our cortisone levels drop.

This is our stress hormone.

Giving reduces anxiety and stress and makes us happy.

Now, what if I told you, you can be happy every day and it’s simple.

In fact, it’s so simple a 3-year-old child can do it.

Well, on my first son Nick's third birthday, I decided to teach him to be happy every day.

I was going to teach Nick to give.

I introduced the idea over birthday cake and ice cream.

Nick, we are going to start this super fun family project together. We are going to give back to the world every day for one year.

Now, I waited to see the excitement on his face.

That excitement I was feeling, and instead he says, “mommy how many days are in a year?” (Laughter)

Not exactly the response I was looking for.

But Nick was just 3 years old.

I had to approach this daily giving idea a little differently.

This time I got out some craft paper and a big box of crayons, and I started again.

"Nick, we’re going to do one thing to be kind, helpful, giving, to a person, an animal, or the planet every day for 365 days."

Now, when I shared this idea with friends and family, they thought I was being, shall we say…ambitious.

I was going to give back to the world every day for 365 days with a 3-year-old.

I agree, it seemed like a lot. But not when you start small.

Just one gift, one day at a time.

Nick and I started a list just to get us going.

It had to be easy and close to home.

Donate towels and blankets to a local animal shelter.

Pick up garbage; recycle; give clothes to a favorite charity; and our list went on.

Well, Nick quickly caught on and now he was excited.

He was actually so excited, he wanted to start that day on his birthday.

So, first stop down at the local animal shelter to donate towels and blankets.

When we walked into that shelter you instantly got hit by this smell of somewhere between wet dog and disinfectant.

We could hear dogs barking. I knew they were locked in cages. They were behind a closed door.

Nick handed our towels and blankets to a nice lady behind the desk.

She gave us a big smile and thanked us for our donation.

Well as we turned to leave, Nick noticed two big glass doors that led into a room filled of cats.

He went up to that glass and peered in, and then he turned to me and said, "Mommy can you see those cats sleeping on that red blanket back there? Will our blankets be for those cats?”

He turned to the nice lady behind the desk and she said, “you bet."

You can just see Nick's brain going.

He was making the connection that his daily gift was going to help those cats.

Nick learned that very first day, as he turned to me and smiled. He said, “awesome mom.”

Giving made him happy.

Day two down at the beach for a little fun in the sun and the game of how much garbage can we pick up in three minutes or less.

Because that was the attention span of my 3-year-old. (Laughter)

Day three we took that garbage and we sorted it.

At the ripe old age of 3, Nick learned to recycle.

Well, daily giving quickly became a routine for Nick. Just like brushing his teeth.

Well, actually come to think of it, it would be easier to teach a 3-year-old to give every day than it is to brush teeth every day.

Nick asked if we could share our daily giving adventures with our friends and family so they could follow along.

So, that very first day, I started a blog and I called it 365 Give.

Just so you know, I'm not a writer or some social media guru.

So, you can imagine how surprised I was you were when people started reading the blog; other than my friends and family.

They started reading and engaging from all over the world.

They sent me emails and left comments about their daily giving stories because they were inspired by Nick.

Actually, I was so excited that I’m going to share some of them today.

So, Henry from London England wrote, "I walk past the same homeless man every day on my way to work. Today I brought him breakfast. He was so grateful I stopped. It’s going to be my daily gift from now on.”

A person from Uganda. “I took four children that live on a street near my home to lunch today. The children were so happy to have a meal. And for the first time in a long time, they felt that someone cared.”

And, Amy from Australia. "I’m a grade four teacher and I started 365 Give a daily giving practice in my classroom.”

This one, this one took me by surprise.

Could you really teach 365 Give in a classroom?

I didn't know, I was just a mom.

But as fate has it, I get a call from a good friend Sara.

She’s a local elementary school teacher.

She says, "Jacqueline, I want to take the 365 Give concept into my classroom. Actually, my entire school.”

Well, we were both so excited, we went to work.

We created an educational program.

A tool for teachers that integrates a simple daily giving practice with their curriculum.

We called it the 365 Give Challenge.

It’s unique because it’s powered by the kids. They choose how they’re going to give, support causes, and impact the world in ways that they choose.

We started at Sara’s school, and I actually couldn’t wait to hear how the kids are going to give.

A few weeks into the challenge, I went down and met with the grade two class. 7-year old kids.

When I walked into the classroom, I wasn't sure who was more excited, me or the kids.

First up was Arman. He waved his hand frantically.

He just couldn’t wait to tell me all about the fresh-baked cookies they had made and delivered to the local firehouse.

They wanted to thank all the firefighters for all they did in their community.

Arman was beaming with pride.

Next up was Mia. Mia's little cousin had suffered from cancer that year.

The kids, the entire class, decided they were going to do a popcorn sale right at school.

They raised $ 252 over recess, and they donated it to a charity supports kids with cancer.

But this is the part that almost had me in tears, because I could have never have dreamed that my super fun family project with my son could cause a ripple to so many.

And it’s what their teacher Mrs. Story said to me, “Jacqueline, my kids are understanding how their actions can make a better world. It’s connected them to each other and their community, and most importantly, it’s making my classroom happy.”

The 365 Give Challenge has now touched over 5,000 children in 25 schools and we have only just begun. (Cheers) (Applause)

Thank you. (Cheers) (Applause)

The kids are sharing their daily giving stories with other kids, and it’s creating a ripple in their families, their communities, and around the world.

The challenge was created for kids but it’s actually for all of us.

It doesn’t matter where you live or what you do or how old you are.

Just imagine if we all did it.

It started with just one child giving every day. That’s 365 daily gifts.

We shared and it has rippled to right here with all of you.

Now let’s take everybody in this room...over 2,000 people times 365 daily gives.

That is over 700,000 daily gives.

It’s no longer just one child giving every day, but each and every one of us.

Creating a better world; a happier world.

And it’s so simple a 3-year-old can do it.

It’s a daily habit just like brushing your teeth.

Start your list today.

Take a look at your life, your world, your family, your day. Do what works for you.

Donate, volunteer, help a neighbor, be kind to a stranger.

This is how we’re gonna go from anxiety and depression to happy.

Together, we can all start small and we can make the world a better world. A happier world.

One give, one day at a time (Applause) (Cheers)

 Yeah! Yeah!
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